700

BIG MAJOR RAMBLING RANT - BE FORE-WARNED

It's been a long journey now, the humble diary that held my jottings and scribblings found a voice through this blog. The blog has been responsible in many ways to give me solace, a place that has helped me find friends, some who have become such an integral part of my daily life that I don't know what will happen to me in their absence and continued support.

My short stories, my poems, my movie reviews, rants about the state of the government, cricket, jobs and salaries, friends and foes, back-stabbers and random kind strangers; this blog has been with me through all my personal highs and lows.

700 is a number - that my dear reader is the number of posts that have been published on this blog. If I were to integrate all my blogs that I have maintained all through these years those deleted those hidden and lost in the vast and complex world of cyber-space - the number would about 1500 posts.

I think I have reached a point - a point of no return - my insecurities, my fears, sins of the past are all coming back to haunt me. I am 31, perennially hunched, I can't run as fast as I used to; the champion kick-boxer's frame now looks like a disillusioned shadow of himself. My marriage has become a joke; relatives and so-called family well-wishers rub the fact with undying accuracy that I should have studied engineering, joined TCS or CTS, gone on-site and returned and married a sweet little Iyer girl after all the mandatory horoscope-matching!

I smile at their concern; knowing that none of them will ever dare to give me their daughter's hand!Old-age and ill-health of my mother - a problem that haunts me; even when at work; my mind is at home hoping that amma took her medication on time and is resting comfortably.

Everyday is a mad-rush to work; racing against time and the great system called Indian Railways ensures that every working day is ruined at the start by screwing up the train schedules. Somehow by God's grace I reach in the nick of time and life goes on!

There have been some postives as well; a house to call my own; an enviable collection of books and movies, a pet-dog of my own; who teaches me something new everyday; friends who I believe will help me in a crisis and the beautiful network of bloggers called The Chennai Bloggers Club.

There are so many different people here; each one has a special quality; have learnt so much from fellow bloggers; both young and old.Chennai Bloggers for Social Awareness and Action - seems to be a brilliant concept on paper - but things are not moving as envisaged! That does not deter me; I shall step in with renewed vigour and focus my energies on various wonderful projects that some friends have highlighted. Things will change for the better in good time :)

As every day brings a fresh set of challenges; I keep asking myself how can I make a difference to the world that I live in? can I make at least one random stranger happy today? I am not going to offer someone money; but can I buy someone a simple meal; help a blind man cross a road; or guide a foreign tourist through the maze of this city.

I have this desire to start afresh - a new perspective to LIFE - I do not want to be haunted or comforted by memories any more; I am not going to chase a dream that is never going to be real. I relax in the comfort that one can still live alone and be content.

I dreamt of an old man; who lay calm and quiet on an easy-chair; a couple of dogs lying at his feet.Suddenly there was the sound of a bell ringing and the old man rose gently and the two dogs followed suit following their master. The man walked slowly up to the door and asks 'yaar pa'. A familiar voice answers ' Naan dhan'- the door is opened and I see myself and then I realize that the old man was no one but an image of me in the future.

My dream broke the space-time continuum and I saw myself! Perhaps this is what life has in store for me.

Now after all this idle rambling; you might wonder has Mahesh finally broken his vow and if a couple of beers and a couple of generous shots of rum and vodka have gone in; or if Mahesh has smoked a joint? I assure you dear readers - "evalo dhan aasai patalum idhu yellam nadakadhu"!

I write this to let you know that this blog is shutting down!!!!!!!!!

I shall henceforth write and publish posts at http://teerthadanam.wordpress.com/

I know, I know, pudhu blogku ivalo build-upaa!

Vaazhkaiye oru vilambaram dhaney - some forgettable, some sweet and some special :)

Inch by Inch

Al Pacino is an actor whom I admire a lot; it was his birthday yesterday. In his honour, I present the lines from an iconic inspirational speech he gives in a movie - Any Given Sunday.


Inch By Inch speech from Any Given Sunday

I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes
to the biggest battle of our professional lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch
play by play
till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen
believe me
and
we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you.
I'm too old.
I look around and I see these young faces
and I think
I mean
I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....
I pissed away all my money
believe it or not.
I chased off
anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately,
I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.
Because in either game
life or football
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late or to early
you don't quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast
and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that's going to make the fucking difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy
who will sacrifice himself for this team
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That's football guys.
That's all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?

Links - http://essaysfromexodus.scripting.com/stories/storyReader$1492

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9CD7uj2TL0

The Scent of a Book

There is something about a book,
A scent of a book,
Is similar to the scent of a woman!

Every book has its own tale to tell,
A misty fragrance that makes it special.
Every woman uses a perfume that is unique.

Many a man has tried in vain,
To woo a woman and found only pain.
Sometimes I wish it would just rain.

So I could stay back home.
With a book in hand all alone.
And find comfort in a book and a cup of coffee!

As the aroma of coffee, mixes with the misty-
Fragrance of an old book and the gentle smell of wet earth arises.
I wonder - If only, she would have said 'yes'!

I would not be all alone.
On this rainy day sitting here with this book.
We could have been together and read this book in one go!

Instead all that I have -
Are some memories of a time well-spent with you.
And I keep wondering - If only you would have said 'Yes'?

Life goes on;
I don't chase women;
All I do is hunt books!

Striking a deal with some wily book-seller!
Searching for gems in some unknown street-corner!
Hoping to find a gem!

That will offer me comfort -
From the pain of your separation!
The scent of every book is unique!

CBC Wordless Wednesday Series

My first presentation in the CBC Wordless Wednesday Series, which reflects the maxim a good picture is worth a thousand words!



Picture Credit - Self shot at Dakshin Chitra - Kodak Digital Camera!