Thursday, August 06, 2009

Avani Avittam without Father

The yearly ritual of changing the sacred thread, went without a hitch. Managed to get a day's leave for the ritual. It is good to have an Iyengar/Iyer as the boss. They know the importance of the day and do not ask silly questions. This year holds special significance as I performed the ritual in the absence of my father. The Lord knows what he is doing. For all practical purposes I guess he has fled the state. I spoke to some staff at his office and they said that he comes to office irregularly.

I try not to worry or think about him. But my work keeps getting disrupted as my mind wanders back to the past when I thought I was a part of a happy family-20 years back in a block of flats in Pune. Never did my child's mind realize that Fate would play such a curious trick on me and I would end up like this.

For 11 years when the three of us stayed together and tried to build a rapport, cracks kept appearing and disappearing in the bonds of affection. Finally as the proverbial final blow that struck, I was surprised to see how happily my father washed his hands off all responsibilities and left us.

All these years of prayers, meditation and devout belief have resulted in this. Perhaps the Good Lord wanted things to be like this. I made a choice to chart a career again in Instructional Design and I will be honest when I say that I am failing in my quest. An environment that is filled with self-created pressure does not help things.

If things go on at this pace and tempo-I am definitely calling it quits. Salary being delayed again and again, lame excuses of a strike that started today when pay was promised on the fourth of every month(maximum by the fifth!). This blog started with a definite purpose of providing insights into cinema, literature, my poems and short stories. Now it has turned in to my cribbing/crying/ranting notebook. I have lost my follower too.

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