On Rejection

It hurts deeply,
Your words,
Have stung me,
To an extent,
That I shall never,
Ever be able to look at anyone,
Straight in the eyes again.

A gentle 'No' could have sufficed,
I would never have bothered you again.
You launched a powerful barrage of words,
And all I did was listen,
No amount of apologies from me,
Will ever suffice, but was it a crime,
To have asked?

Have I ever hurt you?
You called me a stalker and a creep,
Went on and on,
I bear everything with silence.
Because your anger is deep-rooted.
Perhaps someday once the anger subsides,
You will choose to forgive me.

As always, good luck to you!
And I promise,
Never ever will I,
Speak or write to you again,
I have received enough,
Pain to last a long, long time!
Thank you!

The Scent of a Book

There is something about a book,
A scent of a book,
Is similar to the scent of a woman!

Every book has its own tale to tell,
A misty fragrance that makes it special.
Every woman uses a perfume that is unique.

Many a man has tried in vain,
To woo a woman and found only pain.
Sometimes I wish it would just rain.

So I could stay back home.
With a book in hand all alone.
And find comfort in a book and a cup of coffee!

As the aroma of coffee, mixes with the misty-
Fragrance of an old book and the gentle smell of wet earth arises.
I wonder - If only, she would have said 'yes'!

I would not be all alone.
On this rainy day sitting here with this book.
We could have been together and read this book in one go!

Instead all that I have -
Are some memories of a time well-spent with you.
And I keep wondering - If only you would have said 'Yes'?

Life goes on;
I don't chase women;
All I do is hunt books!

Striking a deal with some wily book-seller!
Searching for gems in some unknown street-corner!
Hoping to find a gem!

That will offer me comfort -
From the pain of your separation!
The scent of every book is unique!

CBC Wordless Wednesday Series

My first presentation in the CBC Wordless Wednesday Series, which reflects the maxim a good picture is worth a thousand words!



Picture Credit - Self shot at Dakshin Chitra - Kodak Digital Camera!

The Writer's Dilemma

In this tag, the first participant would write the first scene of a love story. The second participant would continue the story. Likewise, 21 participants would write one scene each. It’s basically a love story with 21 chapters, each scene written by different participants. Here is the link for previous scene in this CBC Valentine’s Day



The Writer's Dilemma

It all started with a wonderful post by Bragadeesh! There was a mention of a tablog and my curiosity was piqued! I never learnt of my involvement in the whole scheme of things till Bragadeesh confirmed that I was supposed to write a chapter in the CBC Valentine's Day Tablog as well.

Since then it has been a wonderful experience reading the posts of people from various walks of life in different countries! Interesting conversations with some writers - forging the first foundations of some friendships, which I hope will last a lifetime!

My confusion started with Sowmya's post and the chandeliers falling and the bomb explosion ripping the cafe! Then VJ Eshwar created a brilliant diversion inspired by Viswaroopam! As plot after plot, twist after twist happened - Sivaranjini crafted a swift transition of the plot to Chennai and things were favourable for a super carry-forward of the narrative!

To once again complicate this tale of love Vishnu Vardhan set up a hospital scene with Ahalya battling for her life. I have read the chapter at least five times but I am still not able to get it how Ahalya landed up in the hospital - accident / suicide / life-threatening pre-existing illness? Too many questions!

Now lies in my hands the tough of task of deciding who lives and who dies! There is a strange sense of dread on what to do as one is sure to receive brick-bats and the rare bouquet for what one decides to do with a tale that is being viewed with such interest! So what shall I do, how do I continue this tale... As I travelled all over Chennai yesterday with a few members of the CBC gang - my mind was in constant turmoil - what to do, who dies, who lives...!

At Beasant Nagar Beach, I saw two newly married couples and that gave my answer to this complicated conundrum!

Mangalyam tantunanena mama jeevana hetuna: kanthe badhnami subhage twam jeeva sarada satam !
“This is a sacred thread. This is essential for my long life. I tie this around your neck O maiden having many auspicious attributes. May you live happily for a hundred years (with me).”


Getimellam!Getimellam - "Thaaliya kettungo" "Periyava yellam akshadaiya podungo"
Tie the sacred thread; elders bless the couples by showering the akshadai on the couple!

As I tied the thread around Ahalya's neck; she smiled at me; the smile that had melted my heart a few months back! It seems like an eternity after all we went through! The bomb explosion in Sweden, the mad-rush of hacking into complicated network protocols, preventing more deaths, meeting Ahalya's dad who had a mysterious past, chance encounter with Geetha on the flight, childish jealousy of Ahalya, ego-tantrums, the wait at EA mall; the phone-call that forced me to rush to the hospital, where I found Ahalya battling for her life. The doctors operating on her and she was declared to be out of danger. These scenes rushed past me like a Christopher Nolan movie in fast-forward!

At the adjoining mandapam Varun and Geetha were all smiles!

I looked at Ahalya, and Ahalya said to me "Guru, nanbavey mudiyalai le?" - "Unbelievable isn't it Guru". I nodded at her and said “Never ever leave me again.”

That's how I choose to complete my chapter!

Because I believe in a simple truth - "True love is hard to come by in real life, everyone has their fair share of heart-breaks; but never ever think that your love failed, perhaps the person whom we choose to shower our affections on - might have been a wrong choice by us! But the purity of one's love is never lost!

For someone somewhere is waiting for you! As perhaps, I believe that someone somewhere is waiting for me as well!

The next chapter in the tablog will be written by Karpagam Pugalendi. She blogs here - She writes fiction and poems and is an ardent dog-lover with a lovely Lhasa Apso; pups and an affectionate Indian mongrel!

Maa, Didi, Behna aur Khushi

This post is part of the Chennai Bloggers Club series of posts by men in the group to celebrate a week long "marathon" in the honour of womanhood.

Four women who have played a major role in my life; and perhaps I shall play a major role in one person's life!

Maa:
Married at 15,
Pushed away to a distant land,
Mad-cap dysfunctional family,
That only gave you tears,
A man who did not deserve you,
A man who stifled up your dream,
But you chose to shoulder all responsibilities,
Bore two children - Didi and Me

Years of abuse,
Emotional torture,
Made you strong,
You just studied till Class Seven,
But with your basic knowledge,
A simple girl from a nondescript village in Kerala,
You travelled all over India,
And let your children grow with love and knowledge.

Sacrifices that you have made,
Are too many to be listed here,
You are special,
For the Lord chose your womb,
And made me see the light of day,
And grow in your loving care!

As old age takes its toll on you;
As various illnesses torment you,
And the both of us battle them every day.
I hope I can live up to your expectations!
And always see you happy.
Whatever I do -
I hope never ever hurts you!


Didi:
A second mum to me,
A special person,
Who got me pens and comics,
When I was young,
Who would shield me from the wrath of elders,
When I perennially flunked the Maths tests.

Of visiting pooja pandals,
In the streets and by-lanes of Calcutta,
Of helping you pick dresses and hand-bags,
During the shopping-sprees!

Of watching you get married,
To a gentleman from a distant land,
Of me getting into an emotional tangle,
On seeing you go away,
To your new home.

I am proud of you,
Of being a lovely wife,
A loving mom to a smart son,
And being my dearest Didi,
Love you always!


Behna:
Dear little sister,
You bring so much joy,
To all of us,
From travelling abroad,
For higher-studies,
Winning scholarships,
Visiting countries and cities,
That I can only see in movies.

A splendid dancer, singer, artiste,
You are everything,
That I always aspired to be.
I am happy for you,
As you inspire the younger generation,
In the extended family,
Who now look up to you,
As their idol.

Wishing you joy and success - always!


Khushi:
I have told you -
What you mean to me!
I stand by what I said,
Every smile that you smile,
Every good luck wish,
That I always get from you.

You have a special place,
In the little heart of mine.
Whatever you say,
Whatever you do,
Wherever you go,
Wherever life takes us,
Far or Near,

I want you to know,
That you shall always,
Be that one true love;
I know this is foolish,
I know I am being an idiot,

I can never,
Ever see you feeling hurt,
Sad or in tears,
I will never ever hurt you,
By word or deed,

I can't bear,
To see that
Precious smile of yours,
Change into anger or sorrow!
So I shall wait,
With hope for you to say - 'Yes'

Khushi for you....forever!


My promise - Wherever I go - I shall not watch women being abused physically or verbally - consider every lady and child as my own family-member and fight for them!

My Prayer to the Lord - never let me succumb to temptation or be misguided into hurting any lady or child by word, deed or thought!

A Tale of Two Weddings

Two weddings this week - one that of a friend's sister - typical Hindu Malayali wedding at Mahalingapuram Ayyappan Temple; great food in traditional Kerala sadhya style! The bride and the groom all happy and hopeful for a new life. Wishing Ramya and Praveen a happy married life. Excessive crowd of people and met friends from school and days gone by when this same batch would play and fight over cricket and football!

Dearest - Note to you - kab samjhogi humein!

The other wedding was unique - the first Marwari wedding that I attended - a colleague's brother's wedding and I am great friends with both my colleague and her brother. I missed the baraat as there were some calls and never-ending meetings at work. When I finally reached the venue - I was flabbergasted at the sheer number of people; it looked like all of Sowcarpet had landed up to bless the couple.

Loads of children everywhere; running about playing versions of chor-police and hide and seek. The groom Sourav who looked resplendent and royal like a prince and Preethi bhabhi dressed like a princess made a handsome couple. Sourav's sister and my colleague looked like a princess from an Arabian fairy-tale with a stone studded crown-like hair-band on her head.

It was a royal affair as elders from both families blessed the couple. The music group belted out some hit songs - Pal pal dil ke pass, Tujhe dekha to ye jaan sanam, Sau Saal Pehle humein tumse pyaar tha. It was great fun!

The food spread was unbelievable with mind-boggling varieties of food and the special moment was when the groom's sister came and personally fed a rasgulla and jalebi to me and three of my colleagues!

Wishing Sourav and Preethi bhabhi all the best for a beautiful and joyful married life!

A Wedding Poem for My Niece

Dear little niece of mine,
A ray of sunshine you have been,
Spreading joy in your family
And amongst your friends
All these years of your life.

Having seen you grow up,
From a cherubic angel,
A teen and now a lovely lady,
Who is married to a charming gentleman.
I feel happy for you!

Remember that marriage is a beautiful institution;
The two of you are now intertwined,
By a beautiful thread of love and mutual admiration.
There will be fights, there will be patch-ups,
There will be hugs, kisses and tears.

But always remember,
The two of you,
Born and bred in different cities,
Have been brought together,
By this beautiful bond.

Always love each other,
No matter what happens;
As you grow older and wiser,
May the love and respect,
Grow stronger and deeper.

May God in his infinite grace,
Bless you and your hubby;
With joy, good health and prosperity.
As you begin a beautiful journey;
Wishing you all the best!!!!

A Walk in the Rains

How happy I am..
To see you again,
In front of me.
To see that beautiful smile,
To see that twinkle in your hazel eyes.
To listen to you speak slowly in your sing-song voice!

As we walked together,
In the gentle drizzle,
Me holding an umbrella for you;
And listening attentively;
To every word that you spoke;
It was a walk in the rains.

A walk to remember,
Or rather a walk that-
I will never forget!
You looked troubled,
And as you spoke;
I noticed the sadness in your eyes and voice.

You know that I am there,
Just a phone-call away!
I am no Superman to work miracles;
But I can listen to you with care.
And try my best to help you;
In anyway to make you feel happy and see you smile.

Let your worries,
Vanish away in the dust,
That the rains wash away,
Let there be just happiness,
That we can share with each other.
A walk in the rains!

Journeys Never End - A Love Story - The Story Idea

The week leading up to August 15 was exciting because Indiblogger and Harper Collins had promised to provide a platform to bloggers to get published.

Please visit - http://www.indiblogger.in/getpublished/ and participate!

My effort to 'get published' - my story idea presented below:

It was 9:35 PM and my train to Rameshwaram was scheduled to leave Egmore station at 9:40 PM. The Tambaram-Chennai Beach local train reached Egmore just in time for me to run like Usain Bolt and get into the Rameshwaram Express.

I tried to catch my breath as I settled into my seat L-21. I looked at my fellow-passengers; a middle-aged couple eating their dinner, two nuns praying and a man in his thirties; with a copper urn in his hands.

Train to Rameshwaram and a copper urn - probably his parents' ashes I surmised. How wrong I was? I would learn what true love meant in the next fourteen hours of my journey to Rameshwaram - a story of love that overcame all odds!

Lines for You - Will You Give me a Chance?

The shortest of SMSes from you,
Makes me smile;
Even if it's just a simple -'Yup',
Or a single smiley that you,
Send in reply;
It still makes my heart fill up with joy!

It's well more than a month,
Since I saw you last;
When do I meet you again?
I never know.
Will you ever-ever understand;
That you are someone special for me.

If I lack something,
Let me know,
I will refine myself to suit your tastes.
Once earlier when I spoke to you about this;
You just moved away from me.
Those few days I kept kicking myself;
You never will know how much pain I went through!

The joy that I got,
When I got you to smile again;
Well it is unexplainable.
I write pages and pages of poems,
All dedicated to you.
Not a single moment passes by,
Without me thinking of you.

Will you my dearest,
Say 'Yes' when I ask you the 'question'?
Or will you just smile cryptically,
Get up, walk away and make me cry again!
I know it will be a tough decision,
For you to go against the wishes of your loved ones.

But give me a chance, that's all I ask of you!
A chance to prove that I can indeed be the man for you!
Will you give me the chance?
If only I could fly?
I would spread my wings and fly up to you,
And caress you with my wings and stand by you!

If only my dearest, you would give me a chance?
Is it too much to ask?

Yes and No

Some of the wisest bit of advice by mentor, friend, philosopher and guide - Gandhi Sakthivel


Jo tumhari hai vo kabi NA nahi boleygi...aur jo nahi hai kabi HAAN nahi bolegii,,,

Zaroor vo HAAN bolney wali aayegi zindagi mey...usko dil jaan sab kuch dho...its worth the wait...

When translated it reads:

She who is destined to be yours - will never say 'NO'!

And she who was never meant to be yours will never say - YES'!

And for sure the girl who will say 'YES" will come into your LIFE!

And when she does come - give her everything that you have!


Truly great :)

I have a Dream!

I have a dream,
Of a life,
That I can share with you.

Of being with you,
Through thick and thin,
Through every day of the rest of my life.

I keep trying,
To walk up to you,
And tell you - what you mean to me!

You said 'No' once,
When I gathered all my courage,
And shared my feelings!

It took a long time,
For me to win back,
Your smile!

I am scared,
If I ask once again,
I will lose you forever.

The smile on your lips,
The twinkle in your eyes,
And the joy that you bring.

I am scared that -
I would lose all -
Of this - forever.

So life goes on,
And my dreams,
Continue to remain just a dream!

If only...you would say yes!

I look into your eyes,
And I wonder,
What secrets do they hold?

I watch you smile,
And I wonder,
How do you always manage to smile?

I listen to your laughter,
Which rings out clear,
And wonder how you always seem full of joy?

There is so much to learn,
From the simplest of actions that you do!
If only you would realize ---

What you mean to me?
Do I get a chance to express - my thoughts?
If I do so - would you refuse to speak to me?

I am scared,
That I would lose the joy and cheer of your smile,
The little conversations that we have.

If only you would give me a chance,
To prove that you are special,
Would you let me hold your hand?

If only you would,
I would show you a world,
That's different and simple.

Away from the daily complications,
Of a busy-rushed life.
A simple life - full of joy.

I promise to fulfill,
Every childish whim and fancy of yours,
If only you would say - yes - and be mine!

Poem - 15 - Lines for Whom ?

I know you are there in my heart,
I hope that I have a place in your heart too...
Sometimes when it rains in the evenings....
I wish I was with you.
Holding your hands and looking into your eyes.....

Listening to the waves crashing on to the rocks,
Admiring the silvery moonlight,
Glistening on the white sands.
I wish I was with you.
So many dreams so many desires.

I fear all of them will come crashing down.
Dearest both of us know-
What runs in our hearts?
I don't need to say it,
Neither do you.

All I know is that,"I love you."
And that you love me.
Maybe circumstances shall cause us to drift us apart.
Lead separate lives.
But promise me!
I will be someone special in your heart-
As you were, are, and will remain in mine.

Poem - 10 - A Perfect Ten

Experiments in poetry :)


Rainbow in the sky,
Joy-
In my heart.


Sunshine in the sky,
Twinkle-
In your eyes.

Rain on earth,
Scent-
Of a woman.

Stars in the moonlight
Smile-
Like the angel you are!

For Your Eyes Only

How long have I known you?
A month or a year?
Does it even matter!

Yesterday, when I looked,
Looked into your eyes.
Your eyes only!

I discovered – A golden glow,
A glow in your hazel eyes.
As I spoke to you,
Only my lips moved.
But I was lost in the glow
The glow of your eyes.

Do I have the will,
The will to confess,
To confess and profess,
My feelings for you.
For you only!

I fear that my foolishness,
Might cause me to lose you,
Lose you - forever!
I fear that, I will never,
Ever be able to see you,
See you smile again,
And share your laughter.

Your joyous smile,
That lights up,
Lights up my heart.

Will I ever be able,
Able to stare deep,
Deep into your hazel eyes.
Take a deep breath,
Smile at you, and
Hold your hands, and say –
My lady, you mean the world to me!

Will that day ever come?
I don’t know,
Don’t know at all!

Every morning is an experience,
A refreshing experience,
As I walk past you.
Hoping that you would smile,
Smile at me, so that –
I can smile at you too.

Even as I write this,
I cherish that golden glow,
In your hazel eyes.

And I wish – my eyes,
Could tell your eyes,
What my heart wants.

This my dear is – For your eyes only!

A strange image

So many memories,
Triggered by a single image.
An image that we had imagined,
Together - hadn't we.

In the not too distant past.
A past of lazy afternoons.
Conversations, walks and some movies.
Of laughter, shared joys and happy memories.

Where did I go wrong?
That you drifted away,
Away from me.
Lost forever!

When i saw the image,
There was a tinge of jealousy,
Lots of pain and anger.
Last time when we spoke,

You said that - 'We can still be friends'.
And you stressed that I was your best friend.
Then why did you think that I was an alien and an outcast;
Who did not deserve to be at your wedding!

Was it your guilt?
Anger,ego, or did you just-
Expunge me from your memories?
I will never know the answers to these questions!

But as I always wished,
And loved you.
May God bless you
As you begin a new innings in your life!

Farewell my dear!!

Till Yesterday

Till yesterday, I hoped,
Hoped that I still,
Still had a chance,
A chance to secure-
A place in your heart.

But today I know,
I know for sure -
That I am no where near -
Near your heart.

A fool have I been,
All this while.
To have chased you
With childish passion.

Harbouring desire in my heart.
Well now I know you shall never be mine.
All I can wish you is -
Good Luck and Good Bye.

As I recollect those days
Days in the past,
Where I would wait for you
To speak to me

The many conversations,
That we had about
A 100 different things
Music, Books, Life.

Now all reduced to memories
Of a yesterday
That's lost forever!
Farewell!!!

Pages from My Diary

It’s been a couple of years now since I realized that she never looked at me in the same vein that I saw her. At that juncture she was supposed to get engaged to one of her classmates. Later I came to know that things did not work out and the engagement was cancelled. She never calls me or sends me a message; did her ego get bruised or did she find someone else; I will never know. Surprisingly my affections for her continue to remain in the same vein.

My only comfort is that I let her know how much I loved her. As I continue to meander about performing my duties as a son, a brother, a friend, a disciple and so on and so forth; I wonder if I will ever find someone to call my ‘own’. Even if I do will I be able to erase ‘her’ memories from my mind and heart.

Everywhere around me there are people bursting fire crackers, celebrating the “Festival of Lights” – Diwali. I wonder as I sit alone and write this – “Will someone light up my heart?” or to put it more accurately – “Will I be able to light up someone’s heart?” – Ever?

And on that pensive note, life goes on….

Unconditional Love

In a world where one-night stands, quick divorces, incompatibility, jealousy and suspicion abound. Here is a saga of true love.

Please read the article given in the link below. It is a true story.

True Love Never Dies