Thursday, March 08, 2007

Why Raj, Why...?

It was three o' clock in the morning, when I was rudely awakened from my sleep, by the ringtone of my mobile phone. At first I thought it was a dream, and I continued to lie down, but when the ringtone persisted I realized that it was not a dream and the phone was actually ringing. I looked at the number, and was surprised, it was a foreign number. I answered the call, it was Mr. Mishra, a close family friend who was settled in Germany. His son Raj was my classmate at school, and he was currently working in some research facility in Melbourne.

Mishra uncle conveyed a shocking news-his son Raj had commited suicide. I was lost for words and I consoled the poor man who had lost his son. I was surprised because I had spoken to Raj ten days earlier, and he seemed fine although his voice sounded a bit shaky. When Mr. Mishra finished his call, I was no longer in a mood to sleep. I went to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and poured myself a glass of milk, and went to the veranda.

I thought about Raj, there were too many memories, that had been refreshed by the depressing phone call. Both of us grew up in the same neighbourhood, studied in the same school, and were classmates from nursery to high-school. Then Raj enrolled for a course in Chemical Engineering, while I pursued a course in English Literature. Raj studied in Sydney and he topped the university, he received a gold medal. Things looked bright and rosy, and Raj got an opportunity to work in the research facility of a leading chemical company.

All through these years, we were in constant touch with each other and he even visited India to attend a mutual friend's wedding. He was an excellent student and a brilliant athelete, my mother always used to compare my report card with his, she used to say-"You spend all your time with Raj, why don't you get some of his intelligence, and score some more marks in Mathematics."

As these thoughts crossed through my mind, I wondered what prompted Raj to commit suicide. He was always the ever courageous boy leading the football team from the front, and never wished anyone any harm. He was happy with his job and had no complaints against anybody. Mishra uncle said that the caretaker of his son's flat in Melbourne had discovered Raj's body, he had hanged himself.

Why Raj, why did you do this, I don't know, you had such a loving family, a caring girlfriend, they were supposed to get married this October, why did you choose to end your life this way. I looked at the sea from my verandah, and saw the first light of dawn as the sun was about to rise in the east. The sun was rising as another son had set forever.

All that is left are memories, memories of playing games, watching movies, fights, now all those memories have become meaningless as the very person with whom I shared those memoreies has ceased to exist.

Had Raj accepted defeat? If yes defeat from what. All that we found was a suicide note that said-"I am tired of living in this world, I have no regrets, forgive me Dad, Ma and Anu(his girlfriend), perhaps we shall be happy in another world in another time."

A tragic end to a man who would have achieved something great.


Aswin said...

That was very sad to hear. It's not nice to see any person, let alone a friend,commmit suicide.
I know it must be very depressing for you. I wonder why your friend committed suicide for such a small thing. From the description that you had given, i infer that your friend was a great achiever in his life and also courageous.I wonder what made him take such a bad step.

Now all said and done, all we can do is to pray for his soul to attain salvation. May his soul rest in peace.

Mughil David said...

Raj's suicide is heart-breaking..........
Might be he had his own reasons.........
Your articulation brings in more melancholy Mahesh........

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